by Ms. Sasha
Forgiveness in the Bible
Does the Bible say forgive and forget? Not explicitly. But if you’ve ever tried to forgive someone without forgetting, it is very hard.
I know this firsthand from the time I told an acquaintance that they didn’t need to pay back the money they owed. It had been a long time, so I told them not to worry about it; yet every time I saw them, the amount they owed kept popping into my mind! It was as terrible as it sounds.
I hadn’t truly forgiven them, and in my mind, they still owed me. If I were to truly forgive, I would have to “forget” or release the fear of not having what I needed and deserved from my brain.
I would have to trust God that if I put in the work to forgive, He had everything I needed.
When I began really embracing the process of forgiving and forgetting, I realized that although things like apologies, paybacks, and reciprocity feel nice, I don’t need them to be blessed. God has everything I need, and his favor helps me to live a big life.
God loves you that way too. In this article, we will discuss three biblical strategies that will help us through the process of forgiving and forgetting time after time.
God helps us to forgive and forget by giving us a life to look forward to.
Everything that Jesus did was such a success, that he can be our example for everything, especially forgiving and forgetting.
When Jesus decided to forgive us, he nailed our sins to a cross. Although it wasn’t easy, he trusted God enough to face the suffering he was about to endure. Keeping his heart on God’s promise, Jesus laid down his own life and rose again on the third day, unscathed, leaving our sins behind.
God empowers us to leave sin behind too. Not just ours, but the sins of others. Like Jesus, we can do this successfully by keeping our eyes on what God is doing in the present and what he has promised us in the future.
When we embrace something so awesome, there is no reason to allow pain to hold us back. Through God’s love, we are free to hope, dream, and one day receive an inheritance from God.
One scripture in the book of John encourages this freedom. It says, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. (John 8:36 NIV). This freedom allows us to let go of our sins and the sins of others. This freedom makes it possible for us to live beyond our pain.
And as our brother Paul aspired, this freedom not only helps us to forget the past but strive toward the greatness of our futures. (Phil 3:13 NIV)
Another way to forgive and forget is by celebrating progress.
Absolutely, we should celebrate our own progress, but forgiving and forgetting happens when we go the extra mile to celebrate others.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice…”
(Romans 12:15 NIV)
Here, God is not encouraging us to be happy that someone has hurt us. He is however encouraging us to celebrate the work he is doing in someone else’s life. When he helps the person who hurt you to mature, grow, and learn from their mistakes; that is a good thing.
Sometimes, we unfortunately meet people when they are in they are in their worst emotional state, before they’ve matured and healed from their own past trauma and drama. But, when we think about it, we’ve also operated through this mode in some facet.
Just as we want to be forgiven and want others to celebrate our progress, we must put in the effort to do the same for others, even when we’re not the benefactors of their renewed life.
Celebrating other’s progress is a supernatural way God gives us to un-tie people from their sins. This process was crafted by God for us to use, and He employs it Himself when extending mercy to us.
Reframing and Retraining our thoughts helps us leave painful memories behind.
Our brains tell us, Bad Behavior. Bad People. However, we must recognize that God has redeeming power for us all.
When we begin to think bad thoughts about others, we can shift our thoughts and begin to ponder these things instead:
“whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable;
if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.”
(Philippians 4:8 NIV)
Are we excusing bad behavior when we do this? No. I think the Apostle Paul was suggesting that we trade a narrow view of our lives, of ourselves, and of other people for a more wholistic view.
For example, when I get mad at my spouse or a friend for something they may have done, it helps me to remember all of the good times that we’ve had, the roles they have played in my life that have helped me to be a better person, and the things that have happened in their lives that may have contributed to their behavior. Using this scripture to consider the whole person then dulls the offense to the point that it’s not even worth keeping in my reservoir of thoughts.
I am grateful when they do the same for me!
There are some cases where God allows us to sever relationships. If you are experiencing abuse, it is important to seek safety immediately. That is a step of faith that God will honor. With Jesus, you are going to be healed, whole, and thriving just the way he planned it. As you move forward, including forgiveness as a part of your transformation process allows you to leave this burdensome baggage behind. God loves you.
A Question for You...
Have you ever attended a funeral where some people attended out of respect, while others stood up and told funny stories? What happened there? Most times, some relationships were severed before the people who were at odds had a chance to reconnect, while others got the opportunity to experience their renewed life.
Consider the example of Paul and Barnabas in the Bible. They both loved God, but because of a heated disagreement, decided not to continue spreading the Gospel together as a team.
It’s always made me wonder. What would it look like if Barnabas and Paul collaborated in ministry at a later time when things cooled off?
How could Barnabas, the encourager have helped Paul, the apostle spread the gospel in his missions and vice versa?
What types of collaborations could you have or how could the people around you benefit if you let go of the painful memory someone caused you?
God wants us to have relationships that thrive. We can elevate our ability to forgive by:
- identifying the great things God is doing in our lives and trusting him for more,
- celebrating others’ progress and transformation,
- and both Reframing and Retraining our thoughts about people.
Forgiving and forgetting is a process of trusting God. Scientists have even linked forgiveness to greater physical and mental health. When we view God’s command this way, we know that forgiving and forgetting is an act of wisdom and not a burden.